Just We Three

My newest favorite quote...

2011-05-04T22:29:00.002-05:00

"The way you know you have found the right one is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with the person. Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away" ~ Unknown

Yep. Think that sums up what I've been trying to say...

Hollywood here I come

2011-04-23T11:33:00.001-05:00

oh yeh. it's that time of year...mom time on the beach. Hollywood, Florida. Dania Beach to be precise. sun, sand, beach glass, sapo with the girls, a healthy dose of R&C each night.

Myep. Stay tuned. Blog via beach...one month from now.

Sa-weeet.

Sarah Mayfield-Larsen
Please think green!

DirectTV

2011-02-06T21:07:00.001-06:00

Today's post credit goes to: Scott Morgan. Without even realizing how profound he is at times (and if you know this group...well, you know this is true) he contributed the following mantra. Somebody please needlepoint this for me.

"You can't fight with people who are emotionally uninvolved."

Maybe the implied ending to that is: "...and expect to get positive results - if any." Scott was actually talking about a tiff with DirectTV... But I'm sorta thinking this is pretty spot on. Definitely something to cogitate over anyway.

JustWeThree are quiet tonight. Mannnn, is it nice.

My Boys...My heart: Christmas morning 2010

2010-12-25T16:43:00.002-06:00

What can I say? I would have thought Hayden would have jumped at the chance to open his gifts, tear into his stocking, this morning as soon as I woke him up (yesss - I had to wake him up...they're at THAT age :). But no - no... He insisted, literally, on waiting for Lars to get up before he would even consider starting Christmas morning. Okay, I admit - that really melted my heart. This won't matter to Lars for years - but it really mattered to me today. And gosh knows, Hayden "waited" - getting Lars to wake up any day is an effort and an act of patience, but pulling this off on Christmas was not a pretty dance. N-o-t.

Christmas Eve with the Bennetts

I'm entirely pleased to end my year with my boys smiling, calm, secure and happy with themselves for the time-being. Nothing pleases me more than to know they are simply well and good in their souls. And, while this may not be the case all day every day - I know it is not only possible but incredible they are willing to let me witness and share. It's an awesome day and I am, as always, humbled by this gratifying (and exhausting :) opportunity to be their mother.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful day.
Sar

Those times -

2010-11-07T19:55:00.000-06:00

Every now and then we each have those moments when everything is just perfect.

There is something about knowing our siblings are happy and healthy - and, well, that they are in a good place - that makes for a perfect moment. It was awesome to see Hunter, to laugh and act stupid and feel 12. Actually - I always feel 12. Anyway. Hunter is still a sincerely incredible person and we were thrilled to see him as always. Good times -

Bertrand Russell

2010-09-11T17:24:00.000-05:00

Rarely am I one to simply "post a quote"...but today, I will, I shall - it's just too good.

"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying." - Bertrand Russell

Inactive me...

2010-09-01T21:39:00.001-05:00

I have always been proud to be difficult to find... Facebook makes that harder. It's just not what it used to be and as each week passes I find it less and less alluring. I guess I still figure if you really need to find me, if you know me, you will know the right places to look...

And by the way, the answer is YES - I can stop "moving","doing", "puttering", "project-ing"...but why? B-o-r-i-n-g. So boring.

So yes, I am in some ways inactive...but not in mind, body, or spirit. Catch me if you can - have to find me first.

I Remember When

2010-08-05T20:47:00.001-05:00

I remember when Hayden said, "I'm not gonna be an a******(well, yep, that is what he said - and this is a life blog) like Lars when I'm that age." Huh. Go figure. Guess not - in fact, he's starting early :)

Wow - we each have a payback kid - Hayden, I believe, may very well be mine. Handful. Fulllllllll.

2010-07-31T17:16:00.001-05:00

Fly paper...pretty gross stuff, yeh? I had a strip hanging in the garage - it fell in my hair today.
You have no idea just HOW sticky it is. Ugh. DISgusting... You just thought gum was hard to get out of your hair.

People read this still? Apparently so...

2010-07-30T22:22:00.000-05:00

Well, shame on me. How about this? I will commit to one post a week. Facebook is just sooooo over the top. Remember when you guys made FUN OF ME for being on there??!!! Now all you guys LIVE on there. Nimrods. Love ya' but come'on - really. How is it that because now it's trendy my formerly geek stuff is "your stuff"?

Ugh. Alright. Anywho. Enough of you actually get it now that you have looked for the blog. Eh - ya know, I've been a litttttle busy.

My post tonight is this:

What point have we reached when fixing a drink (ahem, drinks) alone at home and watching a movie - alone - is not only acceptable but desirable?

E-mail me, Facebook me, text me, Blogger me...just tell me :)

While you think that over I'm going to refill my drink and start a movie. The boys are gone, homework is done, and I am just gonna hang out. Sounds pretty good to me...

What does a ring mean?

2010-03-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

Yehhhh, not the one on your finger… Your phone. My phone rang at 11:48 last night. That ring better mean someone needs me prettttttttty badly. If not…well, a ring means you’ve made it to the naughty list – no, that’s not a good thing.

I am so not 22 anymore.

2010 and JustWe3 is on the move...literally.

2010-03-16T21:55:00.000-05:00

Look at what 2010 has done for our little family of three... Sarah has a great new job - awesome new position, the boys found a new troop... and best of all - we found a great little house, or maybe it found us - who knows. Either way, I bought it. Yes, yes, yes, that DOES mean we're moving AGAIN - which absolutely conjures up thoughts of self-torture. I abhor packing - and unpacking. Anyone up for free pizza and beer? Ahem...AFTER we pack :)

Annnnyway. No, no, just come over and let us enjoy you as a guest - k'? Deal? Ohhhhh yeh - and hey Clara...I SO still have those awesome, soft butter yellow sheets :)

24 years later...WWWYD?

2009-09-07T19:04:00.002-05:00

Well? What WOULD you do? Do you have friends that you kept up with for 20 years, you saw them through through boyfriends and girlfriends, you watched them fall in love with their spouse, were there when their kids were born...maybe you still have dinner with them or go on vacations together - who knows...you get the picture. My brothers and I all share an uber-cool trait of having a group of friends from high school that we both remember "running" with for lack of a [much] better word and that we kept up with. My circle was pretty small, Travis and Stewart I think maybe had a larger frame...but I won't go into that for fear of sibling retribution!

From state to state and even to Canada...with so many of you I have had AWESOME opportunities to meet your families and old friends (oohhhh man the memories too!) - nowwww it's our turn. Check it out - I finally found Rick DuLaney!:

Wow. Who knew. He was right under my nose the whole dang time! So cheers to old friends...especially Deanna and Kendall. BTW...I soooo dig Laser Tag - who knew??!!

AND - congratulations to the persistent photographer at Jenna's party who finally caught up with me...wine and all. Yikes!

Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents - thank you, Mr. Burke

2009-08-29T20:03:00.012-05:00

"Evil prevails when good men do nothing"...well, the quote - it goes something like that anyway. There are many [slight] variations, the source is not identifiable actually. It is, however, accurate. I have only just recently begun to reevaluate my use of this word: good.
I do not believe, and as such do not teach my children, that there is investment in slander or defamation of character. Specifically, this seems to take care of itself over time - or so I pray to believe. I do also strongly believe that 'good' people know one another and should walk tall and proud and speak of each other often - and loudly. The organizations in which our family are involved have given us many opportunities to grow as individuals and as a family. There is nothing more that I desire, as the head of this family, than to return this two-fold to my community every day through general teachings, acts of kindness, role-modeling, and my walking sure-surefooted in faith.

If you are here today then you have crossed our paths and we thank you for being a part of our lives - there is no doubt that your experiences and influence enriched one of us, maybe all of us, in some way. We hope that our family, in return, was able to contribute in ways that mattered to the spirit of a person - you, your child, your family, your community.

Our family is unique, yet not so much. We3 are an incredible unit, strong, united, and a team like no other. We have experienced incredible adversity as many others have not and yet stand each day to laugh, carry on, and serve every person as we would want to be served - with acceptance and kindness. This family speaks openly and freely of conflict, of love, of solution - of all. We hold strong faith that there is cause for all matters, a plan for every man. My young sons know that truly 'good', kind, righteous men will walk, at times, a long and lonely path. We, well, we are hikers. This path is not daunting - it is right, it is the way, it is what will find them proud of themselves each day, proud of their mother, and proud of the men who have mentored them and most importantly proud of the men they will one day find themselves to be.

We hope you understand that speaking out against evil or wrongdoing is never the wrong thing. Standing up is not hard, staying standing is incredibly difficult - this is where one makes investment. For those you know that stand but then sit - stand next to them. For those you know that stay seated to bray or bleat - leave them be and know that for those sitting, good men or not, this will find them with open mouths and soft feet, unprepared for any path. I have been blessed with an honest, strong voice, I use my voice, I stay standing. If you stood with me and I did not know it, I thank you most sincerely and wish that I had the opportunity to express my gratitude in person. Please know that friend, stranger, family, whomever - I would do the same for anyone. I always choose this path - it's what I know to do.

We extend warm regards to so many of you. Please do take care of one another and be sure that enough of you stay standing should it ever be necessary again...surely there were not just two of us looking to make such an impacting and protective difference in the lives of so many children and their families...

Sarah, Lars Jr., and Hayden

"When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle." ~ Edmund Burke

This is a family blog...umm, but...what??!!!

2009-08-18T18:06:00.003-05:00

NPR junkie who? What? Surely you're not referring to me... And, YES, by alllll means - do e-mail me. Don't call me though...there is just NOT enough time to discuss this. Really. There's not, especially when you consider the ripples..

However, for those who know my habits, my intentions, my socio-political voice (including my children) please know that I do NOT discount the trauma and true danger of this ordeal - in any way whatsoever. I am incredibly happy for these families and know that they are each trying to find peace with what these women have been living through, whatever those circumstances may have been. End.

Back to voice: oh, but I was satisfied to find this in a few well balanced blogs: http://www.voanews.com/english/2009-08-05-voa44.cfm

Freed Journalists Home In U.S. After N. Korea Pardon

August 5, 2009

Two American journalists freed by North Korea returned home to the United States on Wednesday for a jubilant, emotional reunion with family members and friends they hadn't seen in nearly five months.

The jet carrying Euna Lee and Laura Ling, reporters for Al Gore's San Francisco-based Current TV, and former President Bill Clinton arrived at Burbank's Bob Hope Airport at dawn. Clinton met with communist leader Kim Jong Il on Tuesday to secure the women's release.

Lee emerged from the jetliner first and was greeted by husband Michael Saldage and 4-year-old daughter Hana. She hugged the girl and picked her up before all three embraced in a crushing hug.

Ling embraced her husband, Iain Clayton, as teary family members crowded around.

Thirty hours ago, Ling said, "We feared that any moment we could be sent to a hard labor camp."

Then, she said, they were taken to another location.

"When we walked through the doors, we saw standing before us President Bill Clinton," she said to applause. "We were shocked but we knew instantly in our hearts that the nightmare of our lives was finally coming to an end, and now we stand here, home and free."

Clinton came down the stairs to applause. He hugged Gore at the foot of the stairs, then chatted with family members.

Gore described the families of the two women as "unbelievable, passionate, involved, committed, innovative."

"Hanna's been a great girl while you were gone," he told Lee. "And Laura, your mom's been making your special soup for two days now."

He also thanked the State Department for its help in the release.

"It speaks well of our country that when two American citizens are in harms way, that so many people will just put things aside and just go to work to make sure that this has had a happy ending," he said.

The reporters were granted a pardon by North Korea on Tuesday, following rare talks between Clinton and the reclusive North Korea leader. Ling and Lee had been arrested near the North Korean-Chinese border in March while on a reporting trip for Current TV and sentenced to 12 years of hard labor for entering the country illegally.

Clinton went to Pyongyang as a private citizen acting as an envoy for the United States to work out a deal to win the journalists' freedom.

In a statement released as the former president appeared with the pair at the Burbank airport, Clinton called their plight a "long ordeal" and said he shared "a deep sense of relief with Laura and Euna and their families that they are safely home."

President Obama proclaimed the U.S. government "extraordinarily relieved" over the release of two American journalists by North Korea, extending praise to Clinton and former Vice President Al Gore.

Speaking on the White House lawn just before leaving on a trip to Indiana, Obama said, "The reunion we've all seen on television, I think, is a source of happiness not only for the families but also for the entire country."

Obama made no mention of the overall tense relationship between Washington and the regime headed by Kim Jong Il, and he said that "all Americans should be grateful to both former President Clinton and Vice President Gore for their extraordinary work."

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Wednesday that Clinton will brief Obama's national security team on what transpired during his trip to Pyongyang for talks with Kim Jong Il. Gibbs said he believed that the former president at some point also would speak directly with Obama about the trip.

At the same time, he reiterated that Clinton did not carry a message from Obama to Kim.

"If there wasn't a message, there certainly couldn't have been an apology," Gibbs said.

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton hailed the release of the journalists.

"I spoke to my husband on the airplane and everything went well," she told reporters in Nairobi, Kenya. "They are extremely excited to be reunited soon when they touch down in California. It was just a good day to be able to see this happen."

A wealthy Hollywood producer reportedly paid for the flight that carried the former president and two journalists home from North Korea.

Marc Foulkrod, chairman of Avjet Corp., the company that manages the plane, said the aircraft is owned by Stephen Bing, a longtime Democratic donor and fundraiser.

Bing raised at least $100,000 for Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign, in addition to giving the personal maximum $2,300. The Clinton Foundation Web site says Bing gave between $10 million and $25 million to the former president's charity. Bing also was a multimillion-dollar donor to pro-Democratic groups that ran ads against Republican President George W. Bush in the 2004 election. Calls to Bing's company and publicist were not immediately returned.

R-U-B-Y : Summer Honors

2009-08-18T17:35:00.003-05:00

I'm not quite sure just HOW I did it...but I did. Sigh, I deleted all of Ken's e-mails with pics of Jula and baby Ruby! Who? Ruby. Tante Kendall, oh so famous in our home as the "Colorado" friend. Kendall had another daughter this July and so we warmly welcome Ruby. I could be wayyyy off here, but I recall Jula resembling Kendall, and Ruby I think may look like Steve...maybe has his eyes...hmmmmm. Those two, Ken and Steve = beautiful children :) So, I guess they end up in the sandbox crew, but it's okay...it's also nice to have a few friends that you can enjoy experiences with even if they don't happen at the same time. Kendall, without a doubt, is one of the kindest, most loving mothers, we've ever known - and has been since before her girls even got here ;) Lucky girls! Love y'all. This is one of those times when I wish I had the pics from 15 years ago on the laptop so I could throw down some OLD Sarah & Ken pics for the blog. HA! Man. Whew - noooot sure that would really be so funny. Okay - yeh it would.

Time to check on Carmen. Anyone have an idea of what time it is in Sweden?

Summer is Here

2009-05-30T20:40:00.004-05:00

Well, it's official. The boys are old enough and my, ahem, uterus is closed for business. AHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA! Thanks Carrie! But I am UBER excited for alllll of you guys who ARE reproducing - I am. Really though, I'm sick of hearing the word "fertile" in any reference to me, Sarah. Gross. Me and the farm cow... ANYwho. Yep - 10 YEARS!!! Can you believe it? We've been doing this 10 years??!! The new place is great...however, I find the small children cute that run beneath my balcony (daily!) - only when quiet. This is how I know I have arrived at that place between pre-parenting and grand parenting. Class has resumed at TWU, summer is upon us, and well, you know We3...it's time to be outside. If only we could camp in this heat...

So, here's to y'all that started later and have these adorable toddlers and big round shiny bellies and whose pics are splattered all over my home this summer. Love y'all. You know I do :) Glad to be where I am though...the boys are just sooooo dang big. I may miss it one day, so you all warn...but you know, there's a lot to be said for just living in the day. Enjoy your sandboxes ladies! I'm in the house waiting to read and rock! Oh yeh, and to teach your kids how to burp their ABCs and whistle on their fingers... So think it over next time Auntie Sar babysits... Mmmmhhmmm.

Lucky Swedes

2009-04-29T19:58:00.007-05:00

I can't believe she came back! It was just lovely too - such a shame the boys didn't get to visit with her.

we moved last month. Bet not many of you guys knew THAT did ya??!! We're so sneaky! And how many of you guys had fun in OKC btw???? Teehee :)

Anyway...time for Scouts.

It's All About Mom - ummm, eeek, would she be mad at me?

2009-03-08T12:37:00.008-05:00

Well hello. I have to think that NONE of you have seen this picture of me, Mom, and Mary (those are the infamous G-erbils [hard "g"] in the background btw). What I love about this pic is the covers over Mom's nose because it was always so blasted cold in Henry and Big's house! And...Henry's glasses above my head from where he leaned over to kiss me good night ("Ga-nite Saaa-rah"- can ya hear it?) - and they slipped out :) You can't tell without reference (I will look for a pic) but that might as well be Hayd sleeping there as much as we looked alike as toddlers! Anywho.

Two years is only 24 months. Time seems to go so fast, but you know I wonder about some of you too...

Awalt, Catherine Anita of Plano, Texas passed away in the early morning of March 8, 2007. At her death, as in her life, she was surrounded in love from both family and friends. Catherine was born in Dallas on June 7, 1951, the daughter of Henry David Akin, Jr., and Mary Ella Jones Akin. She attended Richardson High School and graduated from Southern Methodist University School of Law. Cathi lived her life with great purpose and strength, believing that each of our lives is indeed just what we make of them. She is survived by her devoted husband Charles, her children Sarah, Travis, and Stewart, her mother Mary Ella Akin of Dallas, her siblings David Akin of Dallas, John Akin of Fredericksburg, Matt Akin of Plano, and Mary Akin of Hollywood, FL, two grandsons Lars and Hayden Larsen, four nieces and three nephews.

Mr. Maybe

2009-03-06T21:49:00.003-06:00

There is really no way I can blog about this without getting myself in a whole lotta mess eventually as we all know the internet has a habit of coming around. But - I would be truly remiss if somewhere on this blog I did not document the following terms on behalf of Sar, Amy, and Kay: Mr. Maybe, the Impossible Prayer, and Slingshot. Enough said. For now anyway.

Update: Bahhhaaahhaaaa! Oh-ma-gosh. Seriously. OK - brothers and sons pull out the pen and paper: At the end of a date one shall either reply with, "Yes, I would like to see you again." or "I enjoyed the evening, but no thanks..." BUT - "Eh, maybe." is n-o-t an acceptable answer. I am rolling, dang, yeh- really! Criminy, oh God, please just spare me the thought that any of my darling men (brothers) have done this deed already - and if so, oh (so sheepishly) I extend my apologies to the gals.

Maybe. Bahhhhhhaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaa. Ohhh me :)

Can it be This Easy?

2009-03-06T21:40:00.002-06:00

We celebrated Hayd's 11th birthday tonight...we meaning Crick and I - no Lars. Awwww, but he was so gracious about it all really - and truly, I can't lie, I was touched to know Crick wanted to have dinner with me. He picked Mena's (hmmmm) - which turned out to be a surprisingly good bad TexMex place. We prayed the impossible prayer before dinner (and NO I cannot blog that! Hayd would throttle me!) and I just so enjoyed seeing my "real child". It's great when you have not indulged your children to the point that such a simple act is lost on them... He just enjoyed this evening so very much and I just kept thinking how thankful I was to be laughing with this boy. He did tell me before we got there that I was NOT to be "embarrassing" silly...I could be funny, just not silly. Very nice :) Wow. This kid is 11 :) Sigh...so I guess Sar is almost 38 then... whew, buddy - everybody is movin' on up. Hasta~

My New Hero

2009-02-06T22:03:00.002-06:00

Hero in the community:

I don't know his name...but I owe him a kiss. The boys think I'm nuts :) I was at Target, at the banana stand, looking my usual post-work disheveled self...and this random man stepped to my right side (I thought I was in his way see) and said, "Hello. Um, you have something on your face [as he motions to his left cheek]. It's black, yeh, there, right there - you got it." Okay, I admit - I TOTALLY belly laughed! I thanked him and said it had been there since work which made him make a weird face? Anywho, I also told him he and I were one in a million, the kind of people that go around telling strangers those t hings. He shrugged, smiled and said bye.

SWEET! Are YOU KIDDING??? How great was that. I hope he's married to some totally awesome gal, or is hey, I don't know - maybe even a great dad?

On another hero note at work:

The fab four lost their minds at work today and Sarah put plastic paks (like the air filled squares in boxes) in her pants/back side today to insert levity into a flash point morning. Allergic reaction to my chair... Indeed, we got the big man, Dr. J., to belly laugh. Regrettably, there are no photos - but, on the other hand, none of us will soon forget that image and for the sake of posterity and considering I turn out to be the lamb - who NEEDS a photo :)

If you ever, ever thought I would grow out of this - well, jump ship now, it's just not going to happen.

Quick Partial Post: plastax

2008-11-22T02:45:00.000-06:00

Okay, okay, OKAY!!! I have been hyping this data for months and have not come back to the blog and posted. I was at the Fletcher's this morning though and I realized, it has to go up. So here's the link:

http://www.reusablebags.com/facts.php?id=20

More post comments to follow, but Hayd and I have some b'sness to handle before he leaves and I need to get my face out the laptop :) Come back eventually or better yet - look it up...it's really interesting, and I think actually a better plan than San Fran went with. Yep, I think so folks.

JustWeThree 2008

2008-11-01T13:33:00.007-05:00

Wow..we're all growing up (yehhhh, even Mom)

Can we all believe how big Lars is? 5'9. Shoot, dang he's taller than me, he doesn't outweigh me yet, but that big ol' foot (size 13) foreshadows a big boy coming up! Hayd, still my willow tree is not far behind either. Man they're cute - I mean mostly when they're asleep but sometimes when you know they are still, not talking, or have fever. Okay, KIDDING! Carrie, I think you are the one that said 13 was so bad? Nooo, I think it's 10... THAT's the year to lease them out... W-o-w. Seriously. Maybe like 10 and 12. Either way, you have sisters and daughters and I don't know about all your stuff. JustWeThree works off the "brothers and sons" foundation - I have to think the patchwork is pretty unique at this age regarding gender gaps? Anyway, I know we are months behind on posts, I haven't e-mailed a few of you since I am in e-mail denial for the first time ever [right? me?](sorry - long story for the spring camp out...super dork strikes again, in quasi public at that!), and we all have some GREAT boy stories to share. Not that I don't want to hear about the daughters...just talk to me as if I am a child and don't make sudden movements, and most likely I will get the gist of what you are detailing :) Girls are just so confusing to me...

By the way, still working on that urban compost bin and I plan to post the Enviro-Challenge on THIS blog after the scout den graduates in January. I am looking forward to everyone's success :) Christmas is coming up though so hey, how about my usual q-u-i-c-k- reminder to recycle, recycle, recycle ALL that paper and ALL those boxes. Please?

So here is the other 2008 Family Portrait
ugh, finally got the Haydmeister to smile! thank gosh for camera remotes, btw, it's our Nikon D40X, what a great little body. How 'bout a catcall for a camera?):

Full Circle

2008-08-12T20:42:00.006-05:00

Dear Wistful,

Okay, I admit it. I never really thought anyone was listening that night . I hear the rule is 10%, but I guess I hold onto hopes that people won't plagiarize - hey, don't forget, your professor can Google just about any line from your speech and see if it's stolen. So, while I am touched that you wanted to read mine in print, just remember - you are an original, so is mine :) Thanks for making me feel special and I'm glad you found me, it's almost like it has come full circle right? Right. Okay, so anyway, Wistful, good luck - and it is true, pretend all the people in the room are naked.

Well and Good in Our Souls

Let me whisk you away to India for a fleeting moment from the past. While boarding a moving train one day, one of Mohandas Gandhi's shoes slipped off and fell upon the track. As he was unable to retrieve it, Gandhi - to the astonishment of his fellow travelers - calmly removed his other shoe and threw it down the track to where the first had landed. "The poor man who finds the shoe lying on the track," Gandhi explained, "will now have a pair that he can use."

Imparting random acts of kindness towards others can be as simple as you make them. They can even be anonymous, and thus require no act of thanks and hold no weight of obligation. The initial spark, the burning flame, and the warm red embers behind these random acts thrive on the oxygen that is spontaneity.

Before bidding farewell to each of you to this evening, I will whisper to your heart and speak softly to your spirit. Listen to my words as if they were your own free thoughts. Ponder my questions with honesty and intent. Conspire with me to commit random acts of kindness. In return, I will make an emotional pact with you - a pact from which a bounty of goodness shall spring forth. Things will be well and good in our souls.

Every day may begin the same for you, same routine, same people, and same schedules. In your day-to-day dealings, plodding down your dusty, worn trail how do you give of yourself to others? How do others give to you? Those transient seconds, those precious shifting minutes in your day are select opportunities to restore and to revive humility and faith in one another. You must walk away from yesterday, push away tomorrow, and do more than embrace today. You must immerse yourself in the now. In this moment, in the present, in the now the pure intent of kindness overtakes, and overrules, any other universal action. Think back to the beginning of your own day - today. How many people did you see? Did you stop to offer even a shy smile, to utter a gentle good morning, or to exchange good day with anyone that you did not know? Did you hold the door as you walked through or did you let it go, thinking nothing of those in step behind you? Your opportunities to commit random acts of kindness, while fleeting, are plentiful. Your simple and spontaneous gestures will leave beautiful markings in the lives of others.

The random nature and livelihood of any quiet, selfless deed depends upon both you and me. During these random acts of kindness, time is at a standstill. Time simply stops; and, you and I are the swiftly moving vessels in which time will rest its weary bones. While time stops to rest, nestled in our dark nooks, kindness is extended and kindness is received. Immediate and permanent change is born in people. These people change the world, people that you meet every day. The people in your path, they are part of a universal continuum. They are intertwined within their destinies and fates, their actions and inactions. Do not ask yourself who is deserving. Do not ask yourself whom you want to help. Do not wonder. Do not pause. Just act. No one deserves more or less than another. No one is more or less capable than another.

We find ourselves in a world that is stretched far and wide. We are shoulder to shoulder, our heads down, our eyes averted. We have shut each other out, shut each other down, and shut each other away. As a society in general we have lost touch. There is no great power that like a mighty wind will whip across the nations and bring great and sudden change in the hearts of humankind. In truth, a dry and steady gale has already made its way through. It has left behind a world of starved souls and emaciated spirits. Humanity is sustained only through these very simple acts of kindness that occur in those wrinkles of time. Random acts of kindness will heal you from the inside out. Random acts of kindness will heal others from the outside in. Random acts of kindness will capture a heart, warm a soul, and soothe a spirit. They are undeniably the bits and pieces of humanity that allow us to touch and change one another’s lives – and impact the world.

Mother Teresa once said, "...we ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean, but the ocean would be less because of that missing drop." The small things matter. You matter. What you do matters. Listen as I whisper my promise… My pact with you tonight is this... “I will be kind even if no one is looking, you will be kind even if no one is looking – and most especially we will be kind when no one is looking. Together we will commit random acts of kindness all over the world and become completely, and fabulously, unknown.” Things will be well and good in our souls.

© 2006 Sarah Mayfield-Larsen/CCCCD

What, Exactly, Can One Learn at the Local DMV?

2008-07-18T19:18:00.010-05:00

A lot.

Honestly, it's rather difficult to find a good spot to sit. Choices, shall we say, are limited for myriad reasons. My only regret of the day is that I did not take my camera... then again, I suspect that might possibly have delayed the process. Moving on.

Looking around, as I was "accidentally" nudged by the worlds grouchiest old woman behind me (um ,the one who stands so close to you that you can feel the breath - yah get it?), I settled on someone who looked the least likely to be wearing fragrance. He actually had his head up (and was showing facial affectation), had a very nice tatt, was NOT watching the TV, not texting, nor picking his nose...or anything else. Whatever. PLENTY of people in there doing it, picking something, shamelessly. Grody.

You know moi - honest to the bone. So I stated as I sat "I hope you don't mind, but I think you are the candidate least likely to be wearing fragrance in this room." To my delight, not only did he smile but he replied with refreshing candor - he too did not care for fragrance - at least not so early in the day. Excellente for Sar. Hellu'va choice. A nice person, with a brain, a decent skin, and what appeared to be a great sense of humor. Maybe the DMV would not be a deadzone today.

And it wasn't. SOOOO I extend my thanks to the guy who socialized and let me in on the up and coming Spike Jonze film "Where The Wild Things Are" (mmhhmm, yep, I totally Googled it.) We agreed that having our original copies of both this title and our own Dr. Seuss collections was a vital part of self patchwork. And they are.

In other "new" new to The Life Pioneers, the Rebuilding of Greensburg, Kansas the Green Way.
Day to Day, July 1, 2008 · Greensburg, Kan. was flattened by a major tornado in 2007. The town decided to bring it back in a completely "green," sustainable way. Alex Cohen talks to Greensburg's former mayor, John Janssen, about the decision to rebuild that community using an environmentally friendly approach. [Read allll about here...yeh, just go on an click on the ol' blue link up there]

Kudos to the kindred spirit at the Plano DMV, aka #82. I enjoyed your company, thanks for letting me hang on your path. I look forward to accidentally harassing you sometime in the future.

Hasta,
#99

My New House

2008-07-06T07:19:00.003-05:00

I know you don't believe us...but this IS the house Sar will move into when the boys venture off the limb~

I don't know how much time we have spent blogging, reading, visiting...ooohhing and awwwing. It's a solid deal - a done deal. Word is the Weebee and the Lusby will be combined for a new floor plan this summer... for a 120 sq. foot house. Sooooo, when I say, I really don't want anything for my birthday or Christmas - I really don't...just say you'll help me build and enjoy my lighter ecoprint with me! And don't think the boys aren't in it to win it... Hayden is his usual private, though interested, self, but Lars follows in the public, and vocal, activist foot steps and is excited about the growth possibilities for himself even when HE gets to college and beyond... he too wants to lighten his very own eco-footprint. Very nice.

Jay's House:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbRvsWuWNUM
Dee's House:
http://www.theolympian.com/multimedia/story/157692.html

That's just crazy

2008-06-19T07:00:00.002-05:00

All things considered, June 19, 2008 · The Supreme Court ruled Thursday that even if a criminal defendant is mentally competent to stand trial, he might not have the right to act as his own lawyer.

The court ruled in the case of a man in Indianapolis who suffered from schizophrenia, and was convicted of attempted murder and other charges. He challenged his conviction on the grounds the judge violated his right to self-representation.

Indiana appeals courts agreed with him, but on Thursday the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that states can give the trial judge the authority to block someone from acting as his own lawyer.

Hmmmmmmmm. I agree, but how many judges did it REALLY take to screw in that lightbulb?

Up next: more on the "weevils" of society

2008-06-19T06:59:00.002-05:00

All things considered, June 19, 2008 · Two former Bear Stearns hedge fund managers are in custody after being charged with concealing problems that eventually led to the collapse of the funds. The demise of the two funds helped trigger the broader credit crisis.

Two former Bear Stearns hedge fund managers were arrested Thursday morning. They will be arraigned later Thursday on charges of securities fraud as part of a yearlong federal investigation into the mortgage crisis, officials close to the investigation told NPR.

Matthew Tannin and Ralph Cioffi are the highest-level Wall Street executives to be charged in connection with the mortgage crisis so far.

As first reported by NPR Wednesday, prosecutors allege the men told investors that two of their funds were in good shape, while privately telling colleagues they were worried about the funds' prospects.

Prosecutors are zeroing in on e-mail traffic between the two men in which they fretted about the downturn in the mortgage market only days before telling investors all was well.

The two funds had a high level of exposure to bonds backed by subprime mortgages. They eventually collapsed, and their investors lost about $1.6 billion.

The collapse of the hedge funds in June 2007 — coupled with questions about Bear Stearns management and oversight — threw the firm into a severe liquidity crisis. The Federal Reserve intervened and there was a shotgun wedding of sorts with JPMorgan Chase & Co.

Bear Stearns was eventually absorbed into JPMorgan Chase at fire-sale prices. The two funds' collapse also led investors to question how big firms were valuing their mortgage-backed securities. Firms have written off some $400 billion worldwide in mortgage-related losses.

The U.S. attorney's office in New York declined to comment on the case, as did the FBI and defense attorneys for Cioffi and Tannin. FBI Director Robert Mueller and Deputy Attorney General Mark Filip were to hold a news conference in Washington, D.C., on Thursday afternoon, and New York's U.S. attorney was expected to speak to reporters in New York City.

See? It's not JUST we3...

2008-06-19T06:58:00.004-05:00

For 7 years I have, in a well meaning fashion, apparently tormented the baggers of, well, any given grocery chain with my cloth bags (except WalMart - who most of you know I boycott, see http://wakeupwalmart.com/). I do offer/help to bag my own groceries to relieve them of the stress of having to use my large, roomy, durable, cotton bags... at most, on our biggest run, we fill 6 cotton sacks (equivalent to about 12-20 plastic bags). We never bag milk, bread, eggs, or large boxed food - because that's just absurd. Anyway, I felt compelled to post the NPR article you will find below. Maybe bans are not THE answer, but they are an alternative to bureaucrats sitting on their pork butts and snorting approval of blissful ignorance.

Morning Edition, March 27, 2008 · In San Francisco, the age-old question "Paper or plastic?" was answered one year ago this week. The city banned hard-to-recycle plastic bags in grocery stores, and so far, that translates into 5 million fewer plastic bags every month. Now, other cities are considering similar bans, and companies are developing alternatives to disposable bags.

San Francisco politician Ross Mirkarimi didn't know just what a stir he was going to cause. On March 27, 2007, the city passed his bill to eventually ban plastic bags from all the city's grocery stores and pharmacies. And now, cities across the United States, including Boston, Portland, Ore., and Phoenix, are considering similar bans.

"This has probably been one of the most interesting wildfires of common sense, and I'm delighted and proud that San Francisco was the first city in the United States to have kick-started this," Mirkarimi says.

And not just in the U.S. Mirkarimi says Paris and London contacted him and now have passed similar bans.

In the U.S., the ban has had a few unintended consequences in the marketplace. North of San Francisco in the small town of Oroville, one manufacturer of plastic bags actually got a boost in business.

Roplast Industries makes large, thick, reusable plastic bags. They contain more plastic than the flimsy, single-use bags, but in the long-term, says Roplast President Robert Bateman, they're better for the environment.

The company's bag "will hold five or six times as much as the standard disposable bag," he says. "And it is reusable. It can dramatically change the amount of plastic used."

Of course, those thicker, heavier plastic bags are still plastic. If you don't like that idea, Roplast has another choice — compostable plastic bags. Compostable plastic may seem like a contradiction in terms. But Bateman says it makes sense to use plastic that degrades.

Critics point out they degrade but they don't biodegrade. That is, they break down, but they just break down into smaller bits of plastic.

Just up the highway, in the town of Chico, Andy Keller has another idea — the ChicoBag, an environmentally friendly nylon-fiber carrying bag that folds up into a tiny wallet-sized stuff sack. When the ChicoBag is held in the palm of your hand, it looks like a really, really tiny sleeping bag.

"People carry them in their back pocket or their purse or their cup holder or the glove compartment of their car, and it allows them to have a bag whenever they need it," Keller says.

California's grocery store industry would like to keep its plastic bags. They're cheaper than paper, and the industry says it wants to offer customers choice — paper, plastic and reusable bags. The plastics industry has been more aggressive, trying to halt plastic bag bans before they can start.

The Bay Area city of Fairfax last week abandoned its bag ban under threat of a lawsuit by the plastic bag industry. Fairfax has about 7,000 residents, and Mayor Mary Ann Maggiore says there's no way it could handle a lengthy lawsuit.

The plastics industry said it would sue on environmental grounds. Sharon Kneiss of the American Chemistry Council says that, by banning plastic, Fairfax was giving a tacit endorsement to use paper bags, which could hurt the environment.

"Bans on plastic bags are not a good environmental choice," she says. "Bans aren't the answer, recycling is the answer."

The town of Fairfax, though, isn't giving up. It's made its ban voluntary, and Maggiore says that most shopkeepers have stopped handing out plastic bags. On top of that, advocates in Fairfax plan to take on the plastic bag industry again. They expect to put the issue on a ballot in June.

Related NPR Stories

* March 26, 2008
Garbage Mass Is Growing in the Pacific
* Feb. 20, 2008
Group Pleads: Bring Your Own Chopsticks to China
* Jan. 13, 2008
China Bans Free Plastic Bags
* July 20, 2007
Grocer Whole Foods Sells Designer Bags
* July 13, 2007
Paper or Plastic? Packaging Goes Green
* June 21, 2007
Modbury, England, Goes Plastic Bag-Free
* June 10, 2007
Banning the Smugness of Anti-Plastic Bag Bans
* March 30, 2007
Will Biodegradable Plastic Bags Melt in Trees?
* April 8, 1997
The Bag-Snaggers of New York

Nice Dress Babe

2008-05-07T06:56:00.000-05:00

So I was glad I didn't buy that skirt at Old Navy last month. It's on clearance now for $8.00 and I woulda been irked to have paid full price. Besides, I couldn't fit "in between" the sizes for some reason... The M was too tight and it pulled weird and the L was just, um, not doing ANYthing anywhere.

Across my hips anyway. Like I said, it's on clearance - I know this because I looked at the tag and READ it this time.

Apparently IT'S a DRESS...and it goes across ME TA-TAs. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Really. I slay me. I laughed that loud in the store, holding my side, as I staggered out. The boys could only shake their heads.

Sundays

2008-04-13T06:37:00.007-05:00

Sundays are weird. They have a half life. Have you noticed that? We have... It's totally cool that Hayden lets me sleep in and doesn't make me feel bad either (9:30 - is that still late? ... it is at our house...) I went to go pick up Lars from his campout "drop spot" today and when I came back an hour later the house was FILLED with the most awesome aromas! This kid...yikes.

Hayden was baking :) Again. I LOVE it. Brownies and strawberry bread. So we munched and Lars looked over badges while Hayden counted pins... and the boys talked over plans for what achievements they will be working on alone and together. Then they fought, and I yelled and then we had brownies -and it was still a pretty stellar day!

Still need to: sew on some patches, make bed, and make lunches.

Now it's 9:07 PM. Dang! Things I want to touch on this week but will probably take a month:

Authentic Women
Lars' Garden
Lindsey Kane
GoodByes
Randall
Going Green and Earth Hour
Weddings
Car Wrecks

Good luck? Also...would love some photos of interesting damage any of you snapped this past week. Just shoot them to me or BGD.

Rules at the BB Range

2008-04-09T07:30:00.001-05:00

Hayden and I will expound on this topic... but we agreed on one point specifically. Mark's mom is not allowed to come anymore if she insists on talking about Fallopian tubes at Scout functions. Ugh. Even I, Fancy, had a hard time sticking up for my gender - sorry girls :/ I have to DRAW THE LINE somewhere!

IT'S A BB RANGE!

The end. Good night.

Excuses

2008-04-07T07:12:00.000-05:00

Um, yeh. I could list each of you and your excuses on why it was that it took how many years to get to my blog? Sigh. But you're HERE - so I won't poke you with a stick and tell you that G-Bobbie just e-mailed me and she ALSO attached a (digital no less)picture file of herself. Okay she's, like, 80? Baaaaaaahhhaaaa! I changed my mind.

TAKE BACKS. I'm sooo gonna poke every one of you with a technology stick. You just got trumped by the church lady who runs the tours at the women's museum in downtown Laurel, MS. One more time. Baaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I am done. Oh, wow, thanks G-Bobbie.

Dedicated to my brothers - mostly TDog

2008-04-03T04:46:00.003-05:00

LAST HURRAH: Batten Down the Hatches

This is not a story about farting. It’s about parenting. Remember that.
by Tim Rogers

You do not want to read about farting. This magazine has done extensive market research on the subject, and the people in the focus groups all tell us, “Too many articles about farting,” and, “Enough with the farting!” So this story is not about farting. It is about parenting. Remember that.

The other day, my 6-year-old son suffered a bout of pants turbulence the likes of which I’d never encountered. It was so violent and so noxious that I wondered aloud whether he needed medical attention. But the boy did not share my concern. To him, it was all a joke. He gleefully sailed from one room of the house to the next, his spinnaker filled with that ill wind, leaving in his wake watery eyes and peeling wallpaper. Seriously, if our co-pay weren’t so high, I’d have taken him to the doctor.

The episode occasioned a father-son talk.

“I hope you haven’t been doing that in school,” I said.

“Why?” he asked, in a way that suggested he had, in fact, been doing that in school.

Even for a kid who understands the Byzantine rules of Yu-Gi-Oh! duels, the mores of wind-breaking can seem complex. I decided to begin with the basics.

“Okay,” I said. “First, farting is natural. Everybody does it.”

“That’s not true, Daddy. Mommy doesn’t. I mean, she does. She farts inside her body.”

I knew for a fact this wasn’t true. My Fair Lady had bragged to me just days earlier about her efforts at externalization. She’d gone to Neiman’s at NorthPark to buy mascara and had received a chilly reception from the woman behind the makeup counter. My Fair Lady theorized it was on account of her ensemble, which, head to toe, had come from Target. The haughty makeup woman gave MFL the once-over and then, without even asking if she needed help, passed her off to a junior saleswoman. MFL retaliated by, in her words, “crop-dusting” the entire cosmetics department.

But I wasn’t about to spoil the boy’s innocence. His mom only farts inside her body, the Tooth Fairy brings him money, and Harriet Miers asked the president to withdraw her nomination to the Supreme Court because the confirmation process would have presented a burden to the White House that was not in the best interest of the country. It’s the boy’s privilege to believe these myths.

“Your mom is a woman of many talents,” I told him. “Maybe she keeps them inside her body to be considerate to other people.”

The boy was confused. Why would she keep something to herself that was so funny? He cited scenes from Shrek and Finding Nemo that, to his mind, proved beyond a reasonable doubt that farting was funny.

“It’s like this,” I told the boy. “You know how you and I like to hide in closets and jump out and scare each other? And you know how Mom hates that, and we’re not allowed to scare her, and if you do it, she’ll send you to your room, and if I do it she’ll hit me? Farting is like that. Some people think it’s funny. Other people don’t.”

“So how come you fart all the time?”

I had to explain that Daddy doesn’t fart “all the time.” He does it only in the company of family and close friends. It just so happens that Daddy has a lot of close friends. I named them all. Then I asked the boy to name his close friends. Because he didn’t list all his classmates, I said he shouldn’t let loose in that setting.

“What if my stomach really hurts and I can’t hold it?” he asked.

“Excellent question. In that case, you should ask to go to the bathroom.”

“But I can fart on the playground if I need to. Right, Daddy?”

“Absolutely. You’re safe on the playground.”

“Because on the playground, your farts mix with bird farts, and the wind stirs it all up, and no one knows.”

You know, every parent likes to think his child is special. But figuring out on his own how to take advantage of meteorological conditions and defenseless creatures to camouflage flatulence? It’s times like those that make a man proud to be a paterfamilias. A tear came to my eye.

I said to the boy, “That was you again, wasn’t it?”

All Camping Posts on hold...

2008-04-01T17:38:00.004-05:00

due to the DELUGE and freezing temps on Tuesday night. Criminy. I like rain - not made of sugar, God knows, but dang, my tent took on some water, yeh Georgie blah, blah, blah. Wednesday was gorgeous, Thursday, today, is great.

Pictures have been so fun, fishing is a wash now - ga'bye bass!

Post to y'all soon.

Day 2 - Tyler State Park

2008-03-17T07:30:00.009-05:00

I don't tolerate junk food well at home...I definitely don't allow it when we camp. This morning was scrambled eggs, bacon, and REAL coffee. YES. So scrumptious. They love camping "eggs." Hayden played in the gulley, Lars killed wasps, and I cooked - LOVIN' it. The weather was fairly schizo, sunny, cool, occasionally breezy, but good for whatever pleased thee in general... And what pleased the boys was making it out to the "_____" in the swimming area (what is it called?)- whatever, I can't remember the word and I am not going to NOT post for lack of a word - MEH. So, yeh - it's only mid-March in East Texas and the water is NOT warm, definitely cold. But hey, and I have this on film, like movie, as soon as the "cool" Aussie guy dove in (he was about 20 something) BOTH the boys dove right in after him. Wow. It was amazing! Then they all hauled themselves out onto that "thing" (that I cannot remember the name of) and preened and bathed in the sun. It was an absolute hoot! Look see:

Later on though, Hayd insisted on fishing ONE last time down by the bank. The bass are spawing, he had a good shot, but I didn't think he would actually have any real success (oh, come on - I'm not a doomsayer, I'm being honest!) I only wish I had taken pics of the people eating at the picnic table, not nice, but a great study in the worst nutrition habits ever!

Oh, tra la and by the way there are tornado watches out in Van Zandt apparently - we are in Smith. There has been a mass exitus from the park. No, I mean it. People have left in DROVES. It's empty, like three other tenters besides us. We went to the showers and came back and the dad of the family across from us came over and scared the ba-jesus out of me. To be on the safer side, we re-packed EVERYthing except the boys' tent. All 3 of us are in here tonight. Dang it's muggy too, and no breeze at all - bleh. Hayden is a space stealer too - man, if this kid knees me in the back one more time, I may shave his initials in his hair... Just like when he was in the womb. Time to lock it down, say g'nite, and post. And if you don't hear from us - then well, the post is up and we have said our final words. Yuck - that is just so wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but it feels awful! GOODNIGHT!

Spring Break 08 - Tyler State Park

2008-03-15T23:45:00.007-05:00

Lying. If you know me, even if you think you do, you know I am a seriously reformed liar. So I absolutely abhor lying. Not that I am not ever tempted... I just don't do it. That's my lead in for today. Lying.

Anyway... There is strategy to planning a camping trip. Maybe you say "Duh." If you are not a seasoned camper though, your duh is not well-founded... In the winter, you should be near bathrooms, AND in a park where said bathrooms are heated. In the summer, not so much - ugh! bees and people thanks to dumpsters (yes dumpsters attract people!). Obviously these are "priority" points for JustWeThree, but you know, one should try to keep the criteria simple - it's a mindset here, folks.

It's Spring Break, 7 days of it to be precise... and this camping trip so I "planned" for a water site, no electricity, and about a $53.00 check-in not including a tank of gas and groceries. We checked in today though and the gal said, "Just you, no one else over 13 right?" I immediately replied, "No, he's 13" and pointed at Lars... then I just sighed because I saw this register in her face...and she said, "Okay, then that will be $73.00." No entry fee for kids under 13 in Texas state parks - yehhhh, Lars turned 13 two weeks ago. Shit. So much for a cheap trip. I walked out muttering to myself, looking my usual mad (like the hatter mind you), weird self... the boys reassuring me that I had done the right thing and that they, especially Lars, were proud of me. In the movies, some killer track would play and I would have a sappy look on my face and I would look in the rear view mirror and thank them both for this epiphany via soul expression. In real life, my Visa hurts and I mustered a smile and a quiet but gracious "Right on boys." - and then asked if anyone wanted to rock out to some Audio Adrenaline. Then we sat for about five minutes behind Dick and Jane who had parked their twin Astro vans in the drive thru lane while they checked in. Wow. G-r-e-e-n.

Anyway. We are here and soooo ready to depart from everyone and everything but I will keep you posted every few days if I can get a connection or am at all interested! Time to unpack, pitch the tents, unwind, get dirty, and start a few fires - literally and figuratively. Hasta later friends.

In Remembrance: March 8, 2007

2008-03-08T06:55:00.005-06:00

I recently thought to go out to the GMail site we once held to communicate with all of you... I was both saddened and bolstered to see that several of you had continued to write, despite the fact that I never replied. I am so sorry... I never thought to, it was not my intention to let you all go, I know you ached to keep a hold of her or to get a hold of something. I know she meant something dear to each of you. Many of you wondered how my dad Charles was doing, my brothers... I encourage each of you to get in touch with Dad/Charles, the boys if you feel like it. They are still there :)They are the best source to remark on their own status.

Today, I sent this blog address to those of you who had written in the last year to that "ghost" address. This is a site for my sons and myself to keep in contact with distant (and busy!) friends and family. Our lives have always been different, off the beaten path, and probably to varying degrees always will be - but I am proud of this effort. Please feel free to visit us here as often as you like. I wish you all the peace that Christ may lay on your heart when you give your fears and sorrow to his name. I look forward to running into you gals all over town.

Affectionately ~
Sarah and the boys

Awalt, Catherine Anita of Plano, Texas passed away in the early morning of March 8, 2007. At her death, as in her life, she was surrounded in love from both family and friends. Catherine was born in Dallas on June 7, 1951, the daughter of Henry David Akin, Jr., and Mary Ella Jones Akin. She attended Richardson High School and graduated from Southern Methodist University School of Law. Cathi lived her life with great purpose and strength, believing that each of our lives are indeed just what we make of them. She is survived by her devoted husband Charles, her children Sarah, Travis, and Stewart, her mother Mary Ella Akin of Dallas, her siblings David Akin of Dallas, John Akin of Fredericksburg, Matt Akin of Plano, and Mary Akin of Hollywood, FL, two grandsons Lars and Hayden Larsen, four nieces and three nephews. Services will be held on Monday, March 12 at 2:00 PM, Spring Valley United Methodist Church.

Aunt Rose's House

2008-02-29T06:39:00.002-06:00

I wonder what the boys will remember about who said what about how and when... I have the good fortune of having so many of those memories - if only there was truly time to pen them all. I think my top 5 are:

1.Where there's a van there's a traffic jam, and where there's a traffic jam there's a van (Pepaw; Dallas, TX - teaching me to drive on LBJ at age 14)

2.Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat (Pepaw again - pattern?)

3. Never ride on motorcycles with boys - or without them. (Pepaw...)

4. Always, always, always have good insurance and never pay more than you should for a car. Yes, that was Pepaw - he was president of an insurance company and one of the most financially secure people I have ever known - and, I did get a killer deal on my truck...

5. Be kind, just be kind to all... (Aunt Rose; Laurel, MS)

5a. Do the right the thing for the right reason, and everything WILL be right (Henry)

I could on and on, and maybe some day I might. Tonight I won't. I just finished working on Scout (the truck)- she is finally home after her drama. Many a bulb burned out and a new mirror needed (ummm, who backed into the door frame?) Instead, I submit the picture for the post: Me at age 7 with my cousin Mark, who I would describe in my humorous ways except that as he is Aunt Rose's favorite grandson - I chose to "be kind."

I think next post I will ask the boys for THEIR top 5's. That should be so entertaining for us all. TTFN.

~ That Time of Year ~ "Birth Days"

2008-02-21T17:30:00.014-06:00

Dallas, Texas
1998

What I remember most about being pregnant with Hayden was that I hoped he would be cuddlier… Lars who was, and still is, extremely affectionate was very independent at an early age and had no qualms about separation. He would go to anyone and was quite secure just being by himself … when he needed me he let me know. At the time, I didn’t know how good I had it! (Those of you know Hayd also know he is quite attached to me, and as baby that was a most literal case) Much like my first pregnancy, in a physical health sense, I was “that” unusual mother… my sinewy petite frame had taken on 48 pounds with Lars and then 52 pounds with Hayden – bear in mind the present knowing my health issues, that no one of course knew of then. Really, it probably wasn’t so unusual, in fact it was probably healthy and extraordinarily helpful in terms of protecting a baby. Then, with Hayden, I had apparently contracted a virus. It was intestinal and for about the last 4 weeks or so of pregnancy, I could not drink water (tap, bottled, filtered), juice, tea, Gatorade. Well, I could, but in short order (like, less than a minute) I would have gas and soon diarrhea. Gross. Hey – you were warned about reading this… It was to say the least a perplexing mystery! I could however drink milk. Our midwife Cherie Boetcher and I settled on the thought that milk endured a degree of pasteurization that the other liquids did not – allowing my system to tolerate it. I drank a LOT of milk to keep myself hydrated. I loved milk before and I still do. L-u-c-k-y thing.

Birth #2 was to be a “Natural Birth.” I was determined with Hayden to avoid any medical intervention if at all possible. I had an epidural with Lars, which had helped with the discomfort and pain for the 45 minutes that I had true labor – but I still labored for almost 3 days without it. I knew I wanted to do this drug free outside of a hospital and I felt confident in my labor history to do so. I only wish looking back that I had enjoyed the luxury of friends and family who had held the same confidence, faith, and support in my desire, and my strengths, to accomplish this goal… So. It’s time to rewind:

February 20, 1998
Texas

I had a friend in high school – he was truly my protector physically, and I was his, emotionally. Rick DuLaney. I love Rick with all my heart, he is by all definitions one of my dearest friends and as far as I am concerned he always will be. I would do anything for him, his children, his family – he’s just that friend. Today he is married with, as far as I know still, two beautiful little girls born from the same lovely, tolerant, intelligent mother, his wife Lindsay – every guy should be so lucky :) Friday, February 20th, 1998 found Lindsay and I both pregnant with our #2’s… and we were both relatively tired of two specific things: 1. Our husbands and 2. Being pregnant. We agreed that lunch on Saturday at noon would be fun and hopefully distracting. Baillie and Lars could play, the husbands could do whatever (Rick was always polite to mine, even though we both knew exactly what he thought of him…) and we could commiserate, make quiche, stand around the kitchen, and be big and swollen, with the hopes that simply the force of being around one another might catapult us both into labor. I mean come on we were, at least I was, desperate.

Saturday, February 21, 1998
Lewisville, Texas
12:30 PM

I was already almost 2 weeks past my due date and sleeping was no longer an activity I was familiar with - while organizing organized organizational systems and peeing in the dark were things I, not only did frequently but, had completely mastered. As we girls sat down to lunch, after having pulled the kids apart…they loved to play, but Baillie had tried to kiss Lars and we were pretty sure that he had either hit her or bit her in retaliation – they were 3 … I suddenly found I couldn’t move as a contraction ripped through my belly. I grabbed Rick as I walked down the hall to the bathroom. Hmmmmmm. "Interesting." I thought. What were the odds that I was actually going into labor? "Not likely." I told myself. False labor. I was in the bathroom and Rick, affectionately I am sure but with all his Rick (Richmond) drama, banged on the door and hollered, “What the hell are you doin’ in there!?” I pressed my face against the door and said in my sickly sweet voice, ( okay reader, now listen, this is THE story, and this the REAL deal, so I am not going to censor non-fiction) “Hey assface! I just lost my mucous plug – I’m pretty sure I am going into labor here…okay?!” Rick was quiet for a minute, and he quit jiggling the doorknob - and I knew he was whispering to Lindsay… The next thing he yelled was, “Okay, but don’t go leavin’ any afterbirth on my bathroom floor wench!”

I am sure it is now abundantly clear as to EXACTLY why Rick and I became friends in the first place. Great minds and all. That was about 2:30.

We had dinner plans with my parents in Plano at 6:00. So before we headed over back, we made a quick stop at Babies R Us Lewisville to purchase those last minute things you always forget until labor hits. Two notes about that stop. One, I was so dehydrated by that point since I was actually laboring that I mistakenly drank from the water fountain – ugh. Two, I had forgotten my driver’s license and the cashier decided to make an example of me. You know I must have looked like a lunatic – she and I had a stern conversation with me pointing out, between contractions, that I was in labor and not likely to get much more pleasant any time too soon - and so yes, Hayden, you had diapers the next day. Diapers. Truly a national issue at the time apparently. Maybe. Who knows.

6:00 PM

Ah. Dinner with the fam. The Awalts, Cassie and Chas – I don’t think my brothers were there that night, but maybe Stewart was. I ate a lot, I recall that. The contractions were intense and frequent so I had called my midwife and let her know about 6:30 that I felt pretty sure we had a green light – but she wasn’t all that convinced. Headed to a social dinner, she gave me her beeper number (1998, cell phones, what?) and suggested I get home soon to rest. Steaks, potatoes, veggies, roll – ohhh, it was a great dinner. To my mom’s credit, she did believe I was in labor. We had agreed earlier in the day that Larsie would sleep over so I had already packed his stuff. He stayed when we left totally secure in the thought the not only did he have the sweet end of the deal but that wherever we where going we would return with a baby that would belong to him. I still laugh about that! “His” baby. He always called Hayden “his” baby, in my belly, when he was born, and until the day that Hayden could say, “I am not a baby!” He hugged us, patted the sides of my belly, pressed his little mouth against my stomach and said, “Bye baby, see you soon.” Shortly thereafter I decided I needed a banana split from Braums. Those things are huge! I devoured it though… I was a machine at that point.

8:30 PM

I think it is best to keep this historical – so suffice to say that we arrived home and Lars, Sr. started a movie, The Truth about Cats and Dogs, and settled into bed. I began nesting, pacing, and generally “doing the labor thing.” I called the Women’s Center about 10:30 and beeped Debra. Again, my midwife, on callback, was not so sure this was a go and suggested a warm bath. Good, good, good. I love baths. I took that opportunity to practice names. You see, I knew it was a boy, I had known for weeks – but had told no one. Would it be Hayden Henry or Hayden Clark? Lars had suggested Leif but, having caved to the Scandinavian tradition once before, I was hell bent on a Scottish/English name this go round. I sat in the tub, contractions growing stronger, NOT subsiding – practicing both names out loud using different tones as if I were angry, happy, pleased, worried, etc. Was that goofy? Maybe. Then again, I was the only person in there… On my last “Hayden Clark” I didn’t quiiiite get the Clark out, but instead had just enough restraint to not scream and instead carefully semi-yelled at Lars to get on the phone and call Debra, our midwife of the night. Party or no party, this light was green, this baby was on the way whether anybody chose to show up or not .

February 22, 1998
12:00 AM

One of the most responsible things you can do to prepare for labor is to now where you are going well before the day you have to be there. Have alternate routes and be comfortable with both of them. We had done this. Hayden’s birth coincided with a time at which Central Expressway (75) in Dallas was constantly under construction. Thus, on the weekends, the crews tended to shut things down at really odd times. In this case, they closed off the exits we had chosen to use and when we did get of 75, the street we needed to access had been shut down. To say the least, I thought Lars, Sr. was going to go into labor himself… Getting there took incredible patience and strategy – I was really glad not to give birth in that Bronco.

1:00 AM

I have loved all my midwives. Literally. They rock. Debra really could not hide the shock on her face – I was super contracting. On the other hand (for the benefit of those mothers-to-be, those that are there, men that may observe, and men that have already seen) labor is different for e-v-e-r-y woman. It would be this labor that would definitely teach me that no matter how fast I go, nothing happens until my waters break - and for whatever reason, for me personally… a mechanical glitch was clear– that would never happen automatically, e.g. naturally. Too bad we hadn’t known this. Instead of holding up door frames I could have been pushing… Any who. The rest of that story is really not so interesting – it was a natural birth, no drugs. I really truly have never seen such terror on my own mother’s face. She did not hide it well, her fear of my pain, my intense discomfort, but this did not bother me – it agitated me, but it did not concern or worry me. I was working. In hindsight I understood that she did not have any conceptual grasp as to why I felt so strongly about this goal. I spent a lot of time in the bathtub and would have liked to have birthed there, but my long ol’ legs weren’t having it – we just didn’t fit! Shortly after 3:30 AM Debra realized my waters still had not broken despite all the obvious signs of the need to push. (You know, to this day I can say that natural birth was somewhat “painful”, but endured, and definitely not comfortable – but having my waters broken, God, that just really, really hurt!

3:30 AM

Debra said I was whining. Truthfully, I probably was. How embarrassing. 2 seconds, a flick of her wrist, my waters broken, and WHAM! It’s amazing… the change of contractions was like the difference between the top of the Ferris wheel and the parachute ride at Six Flags. I was definitely going somewhere faster, but I was also definitely feeling it MUCH more intensely. The other change at this point was I decided no more clothes and no more standing up. Haaa! I remember reading that women did that sometimes… apparently so. During natural childbirth, you really do need a person to focus on – because if anyone gets in your tunnel vision, it gets very awkward… not at that moment of course, because you can’t switch modes, but it does. It was such hard work. 27 minutes of pushing, crying, “I cant’s, I can’s” and even a few bad words.

3:57 AM

I know there are women who pay more and push more and have it really bad. I am so thankful for such an awesome birth story. It was indeed nothing less than awesome. I relish every second of that final moment that – that nano second where I had the sensation of nothing in my belly and then suddenly, within that same instant, there was this tiny baby boy placed across my breasts. I have forgotten that smell, but I have not forgotten what he smelled like – new baby, me, birth, life, warmth. There is no way to describe this… and within days, even hours, it fades. It’s so cool how a final moment is really truly a beginning. Happy Birthday, Hayden Clark .

Hayden getting weighed about 30 minutes after...

http://www.birthcenter.net/about/default.asp

And how, HOW could I not put this picture here...of Lars with "his" baby, only 8 hours old. By the way...the first thing he did, in his excitement, was to jab his finger directly into Hayden's eye :)

~ That Time of Year ~ "Birth Days"

2008-02-21T16:30:00.008-06:00

Since I wiped the blog… it’s really, truly a fresh year here isn’t it? Ahhhhh. The boys are about to hit birthdays again. Yep, it’s that time already. Then again, anyone who knows me well enough understands that this also means I can breathe… almost. It’s the end of “celebration season.” Mmmm, yay me. The extroverted introvert…The reins that burn to be dropped if only they were not welded to my palms…

I thought I might go a different route this year and give you all an idea of “birth” days, not “birthdays”… So suck it up and either read along or move along!

Let’s start with Lars, he was after all first. Cutie. (yeh, he still loves that!) Bipolar and all, every bit, wouldn’t change it – you never know what another roll would get you… There is a blessing and at least half full in EVERYTHING. God knows it’s true – it is. I do believe it. Little Lars and I had oh, so much trouble getting our act together right before he made his entrance though. Preclampsia (oh, go look it up) and 8 weeks of bed rest (and I mean BED, no up for anything but the necessities) made for one weak, underweight, feisty very pregnant 24 year old “girl”.

Aspen, Colorado
Aspen Valley Medical
March 1 - 3, 1995

1PM
Check-In

My aunt Wava remembers me checking in at the hospital and tsk-tsk-tsking the ditzy register nurse who went on and on about how painful labor was and how she hated pregnancy…my mother remembered the awful winter storm that slammed Aspen just as DIA (Denver International) had opened and that travel was a nightmare - and that baby Lars wasn’t coming along with the speed of her travel plans, a bummer for everyone…my best friend and sidekick labor coach remembers being stuck on the other side of one of the worst snowstorms, blizzards, in Aspen history - not the side on which I was giving labor by the way. Another huge bummer. I remember thinking that it was incredibly difficult to breathe suddenly and that I wanted my midwife more than anyone in the world – not my husband, not my mom, and Kendall had flown out, so yeh, just my midwife. My then husband (hindsight is soooo 20/20) would not shut up about snowboarding and the powder and needing to get out there, and blah, blah, blah. I also remember the faces my nurses would make when he walked by. Most people recognize “that smell.” I was mortified. Only the actual attending doc had the nerve to ask him to come back sober… I was pretty pleasant and doing well but was being induced understand, so my tolerance, shall we say for other people, was waning. Swiftly. After 48 hours of labor and no baby… and lots of Jell-O, but no food, our midwife Linda Veira decided on one final night. She would come in the next morning very early, manually break my waters, and see how that went – where it went and just how fast I would progress. And so the adventure began because that night everyone left - including Lars, Sr. No comment. And all I could think was good luck getting back because oh, man was that blizzard getting bad - they had even finally canceled the Roach Cup.

March 3, 1995
7 PM

The Night Before

I know I already mentioned that everybody was gone. Except Linda "the nurse". Truly my first real experience with nurses who hated their jobs, or at least who didn’t like people. Aspen Valley Medical was a small facility and I was the only person in the labor and delivery area… it was so nice and quiet – too quiet. Linda didn’t have the slightest intention of doing any real work or dealing with a very pregnant girl who was hungry, tired, and just flat out bored. Having been restricted to no food and only one Sprite before morning, I was on a quest: It was my plan to shower and eat before anyone returned at 6AM to break my waters. As soon as I figured out Linda’s routine, which turned out to be “talk on the phone- look through a magazine-talk on the phone, repeat, I pretty much knew I had until FOREVER to do as I pleased. I carefully untangled myself from the monitor (yes, I turned off the alarm, duh) and removed everything I could from my body - then wheeled my yummy bag (liquid nutrients folks) and my Pitocin cart with me to the shower and proceeded to flood the bathroom floor so I could wash up for the big day (um, for the other mothers out there, I know you understand why I did all this)… The end result was beautiful, full, luxurious hair. Kidding. I was just tired of smelling like a giant armpit… good gosh I had been in labor for 2 DAYS! I had been sweating a little. Okay, so coast was clear as Linda was then engrossed in some soap playing on the TV above her head – awesome, that could not have played out more perfectly. It was almost 10:00, so you know pretty soon, just as a matter of “rules” she was going to come in and make me “pee” … So I got on it and scooted down to the cafeteria - oxygen, pitocin, bags and all. As luck would have it, they were shutting down and this older woman, rather plump with a friendly face looked at me like I had lost my mind - and slowly motioned to the guys behind the line. I told her I just needed whatever food was left and I would take anything they were about to toss – but NO Jell-O. She gave me some chicken, a roll, and piece of pie and told me to get some rest for that baby. I assured her that was next on my list. And, really, it was. No doubt.

10 PM

Holy crap was Linda pissed. CENSOR-CENSOR-CENSOR. I cannot imagine how that water got there… winter storm, pipes freeze, stuff just backs up… damn things. Not sure why she cared, it was just water, maybe a few towels worth… ewwww, but wayyyy worth it not to ask her to “sponge bathe” me. I still shudder at the thought – man, she was awful. I wrote a letter a few months later. This should come as no surprise to anyone who really knows me that, finally at 24, my voice was slowing emerging. And indeed, this would eventually prove to be crucial to the future of the baby I was then trying to deliver…

March 4, 1995
6 AM

“I really wish I didn’t have to wake her up…” I could hear my midwife whispering to someone, I think it was Lars, Sr.? I opened my eyes a little and could see nothing – the blizzard was finally settling a bit, but still it was strong enough that the hospital was enveloped in a white cloud of snow dust. I could see the glass and that was it. Time for business. Linda Veira – what a gal. Just like that and whoosh! Yeh, well, I know that’s a water sound, but literally in the sense of time, it accelerated things like we would never have expected…

8 AM

By then I had changed my mind and decided that I wanted an epidural. I had been in labor since March 1 and now it was March 4. I was tired and I was sore – and now I was REALLY in true labor AND it was looking like sometime in the next 8 hours I was going to be holding my first born. As far as I was concerned, things were looking up! Off we went to delivery and happy me I got that big arse shot in my spine which, FYI and by the way, takes a really long time to saturate one’s system and have any actual ‘affect’. Linda and I started chatting, Lars. Sr. got bored and went out, my mom and Uncle Reese and Aunt Wava walked down the hall for lunch – and so it was agreed that I would “nap.” Totally fine with me, my body seemed rather content to do its thing…until it woke me up and I just felt weird, and I mean weeeeird. I asked the nurse to get Linda (midwife), who came in all calm and reassuring with the notion that my epidural was finally hitting me and I was probably just getting goofy (me?). She was about to walk out, and I said that “No, I feel weird, it’s different than before.” So just to be safe she decided to do a progress check, manually of course… And really there was no need for any information after that because she immediately called for Lars, Sr. and informed him that the baby was trying to crown. Apparently, I had been pushing in my sleep. Heee heee. Wow. Talk about getting’ down to business! Everyone else missed the moment, having left 30 minutes earlier for lunch. About 9 minutes in, we lost heart rate for the baby and things went south, but that’s what episiotomies are for… and 1 minute after that Super Pusher had delivered her first baby in an, if I may so, amazing 10 minutes flat. There he was, a little bruised (actually, a lot, a big ol’ purple knot on his noggin!) from the naptime pushing, but surprisingly healthy and stout considering the prenatal state of Mom… a boy. No ohhs and ahhhs, but without a doubt, I felt the definitive shift inside my "self", my spirit, that confirmed my life path had changed in the best of ways. Lars Erik Larsen, Jr. Happy Birthday, guy. Way to pull through! Literally.

Randomness

2008-02-17T05:05:00.001-06:00

...and so He made us small ... but with magnificent hearts heavy and full of loving words meant to span the distance between me, myself, and they...

If there were anyone now who could just say anything to span that distance it would be absolutely lovely.

Lots of things were going to happen by now: my new camera, a few more interviews, a real start on my project (see camera), our Spring camping trip, a weekend thing with the boys...and I have to say, a lot of things have happened, just none of them anything close to what I imagined. I could go into a lot of detail, but it's so unnecessary really. Isn't it?

Highlights: Saving my children's spirits, fighting endless battles for emotional peace (not even prosperity, just peace), guns and flowers, lightning strikes at home, an incredibly resilient intestinal virus that practically disabled me and double whammied this entire family (somebody should get on that...), double lost house keys and adolescence climaxing in one fantabulous day, moving violations and vehicle vandalism.

We are getting worked as it seems. Not so sure what it's all about. And actually I don't think it's we - I think it's me. mhhhmm, just me. Thank God for that...and I do.

I do know that next week my mostly sweet Hayden turns 10 and then in 2 weeks after that my awesome Lars turns 13. In light of these facts, the next posts I work on will be reflections of the day they were each born on - the 12 hours leading up to. Yeh, most of you probably won't be so enraptured - but each story has some fun quirky turns - THAT should not be so surprising. I will also be putting up OLD pics, you know where I actually look like a "mommy." *Warning* there may be some, like, belly shots, or semi nude stuff, and I don't mean like ohh-la-la nude either...

Hayden wants to go ice skating and to dinner with me as he cannot find a friend who enjoys ice or roller skating. Sweet! I am pretty stoked about this actually - he is wayyyy fun to hang out with. We dance alllll the time together at home.

Lars is not sure, he definitely wants to go eat at the Blue Fish, but is hard pressed to get Joey to eat there, so maybe just a movie and spend the night and some of those really yummy homemade cupcakes he loves topped with that AWFUL canned icing that he craves :) Does anybody know what a giant teddy bear this kid is? Man, he has such a great heart.

Okay - no pics tonight. Birthday posts sometime this week and next. Hasta la later.

ReDo ReDo ReDo ReDo

2008-02-15T20:17:00.002-06:00

This year deserves a redo. PERIOD.

Faces_of_Fibromyalgia Project

2008-02-11T19:42:00.002-06:00

I have back added to this post. Project on hold as my new camera turned itself into a catalytic converter. All interviews are on, however, sans photos - and I am deeply disappointed. Starting to think I may put the entire project on hold... Meh. Probably not - but TO-ta-LLY on the back burner. Besides, I lost the bid.

Are you kidding me? I can't believe I got this face... My fingers wouldn't even open all the way today and I just said a realllly bad word when the shutter clicked. Secret to success? Pain.

Silver Bullet: Thursday Update

2008-01-24T04:23:00.000-06:00

Wednesday's update wasn't happening. As you can see, it did not. I apparently "rolled" through a stop sign between Scout meetings after work and well before dinner - and that kinda slowed the night down, no pun intended. I know I said I would sensor our blog so it's guest friendly, and mostly I do, but s***! Those &*^&%$s. Okay. Anyway. I did roll it. I was in a hurry, being temporarily lazy, it was totally out of character. JUST crossing Midway, jumping one house to another, see? See? Not being yourself can really cost ya... The boys were highly unimpressed with the non-dramatic nature of the citation, understanding only that this certainly meant imminent doom for the birthday budget. Mmmmmm. Who knows? I dunno.

I digress...

Hayden did work on the car, but not until late and so no posting yesterday. He and I filled & padded the holes and then he patched them up - quite nicely I might add.

Tonight, Thursday, he sanded down the wood-fill on the tail end of the car. Then he proceeded to spray paint the tail to match the body...which was GLORIOUS fun for me. Hayden has a silver hand :) The last coat was a clear coat for s-h-i-n-e! It unfortunately smells to high heaven (ugh, WHO could huff this???) - so the car is on the balcony...looks like the wheels may wait until Friday night? Eeeeeek. We are really cutting it close this year. Cripes. Hayden's not worried...me? ummm, maybe... No pictures. Silver Bullet is indeed shiny silver and still drying. The boys are getting ready for bed, and by that I mean wandering around with walkie talkies. The mom is getting ready for bed, and by that I mean closing out this post on the blog. Think about us Saturday - we don't "need" the trophy, we do however "need" to make it down the track! G'nite!

Silver Bullet: Tuesday Update

2008-01-22T03:34:00.000-06:00

Here's your update for Tuesday. Hayden and I were home sick today...ahem, I have been sick for, yeh 7 days? Whatever. The silver paint was dry from yesterday and Hayden was ready to put a metallic green stripe down the center. By the way, it's 32 degrees outside - have you read the back of a spray paint can lately? No garage for us tonight either. We laid out a flattened box on the balcony and got to work.

End result: In less than 20 seconds Hayden spray painted my hand green. If you read yesterday's blog, well, you know that I have been doing this for 5 years. I had on my white housecleaning gloves. Takes the fun out of it I KNOW but I do have part time job when I am not leading this exciting life as Derby diva with my Scout princes... and they frown on green hands. NO PICS. NO ONE had clearance to touch Mom's camera. Especially not Mom. The Silver Bullet will remain Silver - no stripe. Look for pictures tomorrow when the shot is packed, weights are lined up, and wheels are set on the body. Eeeeeeee...we are getting quietly excited.

It'S aLmOsT oVeR

2008-01-21T21:21:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it myself - especially considering how hard I fought the idea of getting the boys involved in Scouts in the first place FIVE years ago. Well, okay, we're not nearly done with Scouts...but it is probably the last year of the infamous, the wow, the spectubular, insane Pack 179 Pinewood Derby for The Life Pioneers. JustWeThree realized this fact tonight at dinner and I thought Lars was going to cry...he just stared at Hayden. It's a big deal...mostly because it's "real" fun and we do it together all the way. Lars' last hit before the bridging to Boy Scouts was a bomb - it devastated both Webelo scout and mother...most of you know the story. Recap: Two blocks of wood, same cars, same mother, same tools, same design...you get the idea. Lars worked on his, Hayden worked on his - in the end, on race day...Lars' car stopped on the track. Twice. It wouldn't even roll. To this day we don't know just what happened, except that Hayden's car not only swept the Bear division, but it swept the entire Pack Grand Derby race and he won the m-on-s-t-e-r trophy. It was a difficult day for me. It also changed Hayden's life. I'm not kidding - he was a different boy after that day. Anywho. This might be, probably is, his last year before he bridges to Boys. So I thought we should share some memories from derbies gone by and the progress of Hayden's (possibly last) car "Silver Bullet".

So Silver Bullet is not yet complete...she has the detail work yet to be done. Wheels are buffed, nails are sanded... Please feel free to check back throughout the week as Hayden updates her each day when he gets home from school. He races her on Saturday at 10:15. We are totally stoked...we might even pass down our trade secrets when it's all said and done to that one little boy who just needs a little more help. It's all on the up and up, just gotta have some magic. We were there once too...

A Blog from Days Gone By

2008-01-18T09:05:00.000-06:00

It's funny how random conversations can spark late night posts...other bloggers know what I mean. I fiddled around and imported an old blog into this one tonight (posted below the picture, circa 2006ish I think?). Once again, oddly enough due to a conversation with a friend the topic of Sarah's bed has been at the forefront of my mind. It just makes me smile. It's such a great place. Nothing fancy, no frame, boards, nothing - just on the floor, never made, always messy. It's so totally crawl-in-able though. We have shed so many tears and hugged away so many fears, yet also laughed and guffawed to no end with one another in the last 13 years on this bed. It's like "the place" - we sit there, with our legs criss-cross-applesauce (I know, that's so gay, but you know, it's stuck in there) and talk about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. I mean it. The good, the bad, the ugly. It's our place. Apparently.

"A Blog from My Past"
So, having made this a rather private place - it will be a select few that read this. Tonight, I am paying homage to my dearest, dearest friend and compadre, keeper of my secrets, defender of the weak and weary... my bed. Ahhhh yes. Sarah's bed. Many of you have slept in this bed... This is NOT to say many of you have slept with me, as this is assuredly NOT a sexual topic...and NOT a true statement either.

I have had the same bed for 12 years. It has been through three states, numerous houses, two labors, and plenty of tickle fights and bull runs. What do you MEAN you don't know what a bull run is? It's when you chase your kids around on the bed in a really tight circle until you collapse or run into each other - or fall off the edge, whichever comes first. And yes, I know - OUR parents WOULD HAVE NEVER blah, blah, blah (insert whatever here). But I do, and I did, and we did, and no one has died, a few things have broken, and we have all gotten hurt - mostly Crickett 'cause that's what he does. But it has always been so damn fun. It will make you laugh so hard your face will hurt, among other things of course...

People love my bed. Friends love to sleep in my bed. My children fall asleep AGAIN shortly after waking when staying still in my bed. They beg for my bed, and not because I am in it, they would prefer in fact that I not be. I miss my bed...I suspect actually that my bed pines for me as well...

It is not too soft, it is not too firm - it's Goldilocks style. The sheets presently are a deep China red, the color is brilliant and warm but so very understated - they are ever so soft and wrinkled from many, many washings, but they fit well around the mattress... they don't bunch up beneath you. A feather comforter, not too heavy, but not light either - warm enough when you're cold, and a little weight just for the say so...brushed suede, mocha brown - uber soft. My bed and my room both are cozy and inviting places - so tempting, it is quite difficult to get up each day.

Or maybe you have slept in my bed when the pale yellow sheets were laid out, hmmmmm??? Aunt Clara testifies to those, yes? Those sheets, ohhh, those have been around for years. The pillow cases alone so smooth and silky, just pure, washed, old, worn, loved cotton against your face while you slept. I think deep down the yellow sheets might be my favorite... but I share them with guests because they are my favorites...Hayden says the pillowcases smell like me - so odd isn't it?

About the "state" of my bed - I never really tuck anything in tight, I just pull everything up and about the pillows, and OH SO casually if that. I quit making my bed 6 years ago. I just quit. On my 30th birthday, I decided that each year I would change something or do something for myself or in myself that I had (or had not) been doing at the behest of others that served no true purpose in my life. Not making my bed anymore is one of those things.

I will make it up for you before you sleep in it - but it won't change anything. You, like the rest, will only remember the soft, lazy, subtle embrace of sleep ... Sarah's bed. I will share it, you will want it, it is mine. It is my place.

G'nite

"Paradox and Dream"

2008-01-17T22:27:00.000-06:00

One of the generalities most often noted about Americans is that we are a restless, a dissatisfied, a searching people. We bridle and buck under failure, and we go mad with dissatisfaction in the face of success. We spend our time searching for security, and hate it when we get it. For the most part we are an intemperate people: we eat too much when we can, drink too much, indulge our senses too much. Even in our so-called virtues we are intemperate: a teetotaler is not content not to drink--he must stop all the drinking in the world; a vegetarian among us would outlaw the eating of meat. We work too hard, and many die under the strain; and then to make up for that we play with a violence as suicidal.

The result is that we seem to be in a state of turmoil all the time, both physically and mentally. We are able to believe that our government is weak, stupid, overbearing, dishonest, and inefficient, and at the same time we are deeply convinced that it is the best government in the world, and we would like to impose it upon everyone else. We speak of the American Way of Life as though it involved the ground rules for the governance of heaven. A man hungry and unemployed through his own stupidity and that of others, a man beaten by a brutal policeman, a woman forced into prostitution by her own laziness, high prices, availability, and despair--all bow with reverence toward the American Way of Life, although each one would look puzzled and angry if he were asked to define it. We scramble and scrabble up the stony path toward the pot of gold we have taken to mean security. We trample friends, relatives, and strangers who get in the way of our achieving it, and once we get it we shower it on psychoanalysts to try to find out why we are unhappy, and finally--if we have enough of the gold--we contribute it back to the nation in the form of foundations and charities.

We fight our way in, and try to buy our way out. We are alert, curious, hopeful, and we take more drugs designed to make us unaware than any other people. We are self-reliant and at the same time completely dependent. We are aggressive, and defenseless. Americans overindulge their children; the children in turn are overly dependent on their parents. We are complacent in our possessions, in our houses, in our education; but it is hard to find a man or woman who does not want something better for the next generation. Americans are remarkably kind and hospitable and open with both guests and strangers; and yet they will make a wide circle around the man dying on the pavement. Fortunes are spent getting cats out of trees and dogs out of sewer pipes; but a girl screaming for help in the street draws only slammed doors, closed windows, and silence.

"Paradox and Dream" first appeared in John Steinbeck's America and Americans, published by Viking in 1966.

Yeh Baby

2008-01-14T04:51:00.000-06:00

So tonight in the car I caught one of my sons, who will remain anonymous for his own protection, singing to "Umbrella." A Top 20 hit by Rihanna...I know you know it..."eh-eh-ella-ella-ella, you can stand under my umbrella"...heeeheeee. Awesome moment for me, la momma. I actually clamped my WHOLE hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle. I was sincerely, deliriously pleased that he was comfortable enough to jam out with all 3 of us in the truck... Still... ella-ella-ella...tee hee ;)

He also will rock out with JUST me to the Pixies "Hey" and Regina Spektor, but his fave is "Samson" - this guy is great. We DO turn it down at intersections though - his rule. Isn't this the part that I hope some girl doesn't break, or smush, some day? Ugh. Yucky thoughts, away, away!

Mandatory Science Project: Good or Bad

2008-01-14T03:20:00.000-06:00

Ohhhh - thou shalt not tempt me. Hayden and I are posting tonight solely for the purpose of sharing his efforts. I will share my o-pin-yone another time...

Please enjoy: TOP BANANA!

It's funny to me...

2008-01-13T02:38:00.000-06:00

I tell the boys stories of when I was a kid...I wonder if maybe they will remember what I say... or if they are only momentarily amused because I am, after all, SUCH a bad ass story teller. Oh, don't get me wrong - the stories are totally true... They are just very elaborate and animated - you know, I want them to be fascinated and interested and curious - and they always are. Today I had an awesome opportunity to spend some time with a friend that I usually don't get see on my mom shift. Nice. It was good. Of all places...we both knew Buffalo, New York! Wow. So I came home and searched for a few pics. Ahhh, disappointed me I can't find the ones I want but I found one from the last good storm I was there and the only time I took Hayden, which was the last time I was there. Enjoy. Sarah at age 8 and one at age, ummmm,let's see mental math... 28/29? About that... Seriously, HOW tiny is Hayden in this picture??!! Right? He was about 2 I think? And of course that's G-Bobbie and Bobby Knight (BaHaaaaHaaaaa!)

and

Anyway...the boys like to hear about New York and my trips to Canada - about how this perked my love of hockey and all things cold and snowy...stories of planes frozen to the tarmac, cobblestone roads on the way up to the Catskills...my flannel nightgown catching on fire and all the pennies I earned for killing flies for my Uncle Dan.

And of course...Miss Ellen's Magic Closet that overlooked that most beautiful vegetable garden EVER. I loved Buffalo and Hamburg both. My kids do too.

What my boys know about me

2008-01-06T17:59:00.000-06:00

And even in their worst moments they do not begrudge the shutterbug :)That's where Hayden slept by the way. Um, yeh. HIS choice. I know that looks great, close to the pot and all... if only that is where he actually had vomited... but he didn't. Nope, not a drop. Feet, yes, floor, yes. Toilet, no. Great story, huh? Aren't YOU glad you read blogs! Yes you are :)

I mean HOW often do you get this?

2007-12-02T02:30:00.000-06:00

So the story goes, we were on our way home from a Scout function about 4:50 and the light was fab-u-lous! The air was cooling quickly, the sun was just right -and the boys agreed it was worth a shot (no pun intended) to try to get a good 2007 "family picture".

Done and done…

Life Pioneers 2007

This is exactly what we look like when we are truly enjoying each other...and I bet you wonder what I had to say to make them grin like that - but I'll never tell. Nope. Not me :)

Why are Trees Old School ?

2007-12-01T02:11:00.000-06:00

Is this a category? Hayden and I put the tree "up" this year while Lars was at a Troop meeting.. I love to watch them put ornaments on the tree. (No pics this year...too busy ornamenting) I set the boxes out days before...and leave them closed up. Waiting, waiting, waiting till they just CANNOT stand it anymore and one of them cuts the tape on his own box, usually declaring something to the effect of, "Okay, Mom, I am opening my box NOW!" Heeehee. Rocker. They are getting good at it - it went way too fast this year - then again, I am starting to see why Mom rearranged after we went to bed too...yeh, yeh, yeh - credit to Mom.

Goldilocks...Then, Now, Again?

2007-11-20T14:30:00.002-06:00

Well, today I thought I would honor those who feel sad and apparently, seemingly, a tad distraught over the loss of my 'locks.' I am still not sure why any person would be more attached to my own hair than me...but whatever. Also, in light of the suggestion of a "touch of make-up" for the holidays (you know, just enough enough to draw attention...wth?) I have dumped most of the make-up that WAS shoved back in my linen closet into a Target sack that I then dropped into the kitchen trash can. On second thought, maybe I should have donated it to an up-and-coming-queen? Recycling IS a better idea... Oh, and about the feminine wiles and ways, the "charm" - kiss my ass, pretty please, thank you, I can tell you where might find my charm. I know, all the suitors, blah, blah, blah. And to think they may make the pilgrimage for nothing.

**I would like to thank Nonni for her ever present supportive stance as always...and likening it (my hair, and possibly my attitude as well) to a Twiggyish style...awesome :)

Ahhh, dare I put the quote here?
Yes, I dare - this would seem to be the post where it belongs. The boys are to young to be checking this:

"It's not that there isn't anyone out there for you, it's just you are not what men are looking for. You've been this way for a while...and you're only getting worse."

~Anonymous [motivational] quote from a well meaning friend.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...so close

2007-11-20T02:42:00.001-06:00

I am a weird mom (person?). How do I know? How do you know? Maybe I'm not...maybe it's all you others...maybe I'm the normal one. Anywho, it's an odd year Thanksgiving, so the boys just left for "their dad's". It used to be this would find me sad, kinda teary eyed - lamenting the empty quiet space. That was then, this is now, enough said. Lars especially was happy to leave - go figure... wonder how long that will last, at least until the hormomes of Lars and Alyssa (step sister) collide in mid fury. Both inevitable AND not my problem. Also amusing. Hayden got red eyed and almost cried, so I pulled out the camera and we started making our own game of it - so here I am, posting our life for you. We will all be happy to see each other Sunday :) So... we had our Thanksgiving pizza together tonight and took our celebratory (is this a word?) family pictures. Lars was gross, Hayden was silly - all was right with the world. And I found my broken hat. Do enjoy our memories of Thanksgiving 2007 as we ourselves envision togetherness regardless of circumstance (pictures compliments of both boys ) Doesn't everybody have a camera in every room? I think my next post might be a self portrait of me enjoying the silence...relaxing in yoga wear, shit, taking my own picture is so lame.

Stress shows...it's kinda hairy

2007-11-19T05:00:00.000-06:00

No pictures for you, you curious imps. Some people drink, others do drugs, then some bite their nails...Not me. I cut my hair. And no, that doesn't mean I go to the salon or make an impromptu appointment with a hairdresser - gah, anybody that knows me surely knows I DO NOT have one of those. I-C-U-T-M-Y-H-A-I-R. How? I don't know how. But I do, and it is totally a reflection of my stress, and in this case, my rage :) Thank God I do a good job - which I do. About 5 inches, several layers, and lots of texture... It is definitely almost Tinkerbell short this time gals... Rocker. I need one more person to tell me I look like a boy, a dyke, or that guys don't dig girls with short hair. Come on, give me a reason to go bald... ONE REASON

Parkin' It

2007-11-11T00:58:00.000-06:00

All Hail the Turkeys...

2007-11-02T21:34:00.000-05:00

Save the date. It's almost Turkey Day again...In case you haven't heard - and I KNOW most of you haven't (since I [ummm, way the by it's soooo hard not to cuss on my own blog] apparently distributed incorrect information)...Thanksgiving dinner will be held at the Awalt residence. Be there or be square. Yeh. I'll be in Houston.

Halloween

2007-11-01T01:50:00.000-05:00

When do they stop trick or treating? And carving pumpkins? The weeks before Halloween, I absolutely dread it... then I totally enjoy it - bartering over candy, excited, silly, laughing. It's awesome. I don't even have to steal candy - they share. How fab is that? Hayd is a m-a-s-t-e-r at pumpkin carving!

Real Boys

2007-10-25T01:00:00.000-05:00

Elementary School Crazy Hair Day

Middle School Crazy Hat Day...or maybe not

WHAT is this cat thinking?

2007-10-25T00:49:00.000-05:00

No really. Is this what he does EVERY day when I am not here??...because today I am sick, and this is where he was when I got back from the bus stop. Um, yeh. We have a problem - easily fixed...but yeh, cats don't sleep in my bed...and definitely NOT in my spot.

Flags, damn things, flags. Ugh.

2007-10-24T07:45:00.000-05:00

The wind blows with such force sometimes those huge colorful flags just wave so hard and high our attention is culled by the crack of material as it snaps in the wind...we are momentarily stunned as we look upward, watching them billow and wave...staring, determining what exactly it is that the flags represent. Don't we? Do you? I wonder how often we completely miss what they are hiding though as they billow, blow and blanket our vision...a raised flag does not good intent ensure...why do we strain our necks and blind our eyes to believe it is raised in peace? ...always. Sarah sighs...just, you know, feel the flag, look behind the flag. They are more than decoration...physically and emotionally... FLAGS matter.

That is all.

Crucial Conversations...'working' it out

2007-10-23T07:20:00.000-05:00

Chapter 4
Learn to Look

"People who are gifted at dialogue keep a constant vigil on safety. They pay attention to the content - that's a given - and they watch for signs that people are afraid... When it's safe you can say anything. Here's why gifted communicators keep a close eye on safety. Dialogue calls for the free flow of meaning - period. And nothing kills the flow of meaning like fear..."

...Tools for talking when stakes are high... No kidding.

So what exactly is Sarah's point. Hmmmmm. Well, I have one - and specifically I am referring to several professional instances that I would not dare even approach here, if only for the fact that libel interests me in no way shape or form. Instead I thought I might discuss flags...

Camping with Cubs

2007-10-20T22:18:00.001-05:00

Hayden had a great time camping...in fact he said, " I love camping, Mom." ...and that was AFTER the tent pitching debacle. Sweet. I live for that stuff. Totally :)

Our tent made it the whole weekend...50 mph winds be damned...holy tamole...I bet half of you think I dropped the f-bomb don't you??!! Well, I will have you know I didn't... Besides, it has come to my attention that Hayden is pushing the blog to his adoring public - yikes... so Mother moi is, um, filtering it. See. I AM trying.

Wind Worn...stuck in the tent together

2007-10-20T22:01:00.000-05:00

These trees make the coolest music ever...

2007-10-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

Rockin' It

2007-10-15T21:38:00.001-05:00

He does know what they are...I don't

Opening Day at the Nature Preserve

2007-10-15T21:30:00.001-05:00

checking out the buggies...
skipping rocks...starting family walks...

New Rule: Camping Gear STAYS in the Garage

2007-10-07T16:16:00.001-05:00

Spiders. They don't make me scream...but they do make me gasp...and I will run, and well, cuss - right before I smash them with some suppressed violent physical expression. Nothing close to dainty or calm. We came home Friday night to find Mac frantically chasing "something" in the kitchen. That cat is soooo bad, he has danced with death, but he earned a week extra by cornering this guy:

When Reading is Fun

2007-10-07T14:52:00.001-05:00

I am not sure when I finally decided that the boys were readers...but it was way before they knew they were. They are both Dyslexic...very. It just doesn't matter - if nobody had ever told them, the only difference would be in the amount of support they felt entitled to ask for at school...so wrong... Books are magic worlds, just doors to places that no one can begin to describe. Power, information, creation, inspiration, everything. I am super strong. But getting up and finding my pre-teen leisure reading early on a Sunday morning almost did me in...it was a 'mommy moment.' Next please...

It's about the right time, right place, and right frame of mind

2007-10-06T15:31:00.004-05:00

Suffer City: 9012 Garland Road, Dallas, TX 75218 214-324-3989
Stephen Hibbs, owner/operator Suffer City Tattoos, Dallas, Texas. No shame in plugging this place or this artist. Look around on the page for wife Maria's link too...she is just, yeh, a wayyyy talented photographer (Squaresville Studios). Daughter Lilly, age 9, on her way to following in her dad's footsteps... Great family. Great business. Anybody wanting ink will feel comfortable here - one of two places in Texas where you'll find that magic framed piece of paper on the wall. Clean, talented, honest. Both my tatts from this place...and those forthcoming...

Oh, and Doug was right. This one actually was a little painful :)

Lars: shooting range

2007-08-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

We r-o-c-k-e-d Dania Beach!

2007-08-07T20:51:00.000-05:00

DANIA BEACH, FL 2007 ~
It was our first ever vacation. It will always be special if for no other reason than it was the the very first time "justwethree" were together, alone, doing something, nothing, entirely for the fun of it. Lars had a chance to do what he loved...target shooting. This kid... wow. He is really a great marksman :) And it is something he enjoys. How cool is that? And Hayden discovered skimboarding...sa-weet!

That was then...

2006-07-21T20:25:00.000-05:00